Could Be The End

I had enough of everything poker related at the moment and wanna try to start a fresh next month, this blog is meant to be an outlet to get bad stuff out of my head. Im sure the blog is having a negative impact on my game at the moment after this joke of a run ive had. Think i will do some hard thinking about whether i can justify carrying this blog on, i use it for links to other blogs and websites and find it very useful for that but this month it just hasnt worked in terms of separating day to day poker emotions and stuff as it has in the past. There is no point carrying it on if im not comfortable writing negative stuff as well as positive stuff, so many blogs out there only report how wonderful things are after a win and i dont want mine to be one of those really as it gives a wrong impression of the game in my opinion.

I will blog end of month losses etc and prob look at the year to date to try and put a postive slant on things but after that i will leave the blog online and do 1 of several options:

1) Carry on blogging as normal as and when and immediately after highs or lows
2) Blog weekly on a set day
3) Try no blogging for a month to see whether i miss it or whether that has a negative impact itself by not writing it.

Which ever way i go i know it could change but it does annoy a bit when people dont blog for weeks when they have regularly blogged in the past so im stating my intentions up front.

Who knows what im doing next month in way of poker, its tempting to take a lot of time off but at the same time i doubt i would fill my time and know i would feel almost forced to play some good value unavoidable games. One thing i must do is drop stakes and learn to tighten up again and play more ABC stuff. Back to the basics and i guess if i can get some winnings going i will then return to a more "normal" schedule whatever that is !

As many poker players will say (some more often than others) i cant help but say it "i think my luck in the last 2 months has been sick", although im not dumb enough to imply that 100%, i have bound to have run level at luck its just been in nearly all the wrong spots to win anything truly big or inspiring. Unfortunately whilst an approx. $10,000 package to Aussie is big, its so far away it still really hasnt hit me. Caribbean booked, again would like to look forward to that but its months away and im in no hurry for the end of November to arrive !

Maybe i should look at a short break or trip or something for a change of surroundings, who knows, anything to start a kind of blank canvass for the last 1/3 of the year. I do need to buy a car having sold my old one so that could be a good distraction if i get round to looking properly.

Another Break Even Chance

1st would have won back my losses for the month but another joke 11th place finish in a decent multi to add to the endless list this month. Was lucky to cash in this £40 buy in but in the end its the same old y cant i not cash in 2 or 3 of these and win 1 to get some decent money. Not the case as its been all month its tiny cash or bubble as always, getting used to it and actually was awaiting the stitch up, ran into monster or bad beat this time. Why on earth do i keep punishing myself by playing i will never know.

Sick

Dunno how ive coped this month and i havent, im mad livid angry and stressed once again. Just lost HU for a $5000 package (no more dtls as good promo and i aint advertising it). was 24k vs 38k at start and chipped away into a level chip situation. Lost bit back and then doubled AA vs AJ on a Jxx board to go 52k vs 10k. Nxt hand i split A9 vs QJ to win board KKQQK allin preflop but then matey is on big tilt and gets aggressive after playing as passive as they come. He gets back in to 20k or so with me missing countless flops and cheap draws before he calls a raise with 82std and manages to bust my AA on a K22 flop. Get 1 or 2 pots back and its 24k vs 38k when i raise with A5 flop betted and turn read A256 and all the money goes in for him to show 34off and bust me, what a joke and pretty much sums up my mood, my month and pretty much everything else at the moment. Worst thing about it is i have rest of day to moan about it and i cant see my head being right for few or maybe any of the decent sunday games. Bring on September and fast !

update 40mins later:

so mad needed to do something to let it out, dcided on 2 mile jog flat out as fast as i could go. probably was faster ive eva run it and was in sweltering heat and fortunately it seems to have worked. no longer as mad but extremely gutted all the same but i know i played near perfect and it just wasnt meant to be like so many things this month in poker, ah well we see how nxt 2 hrs go b4 dcide on ne evening games either way but need 100% focus or i only play 0-2..

Drunk Controlled Focused Cash

= Loser. $10/20 6 handed couldnt resist but played well only to be outkicked twice on hands that played themselves and then lost a £500 pot the money going in on a 10,3,2 flop with 77 and getting calling by 68off who caught an 8 on the river, lovely. Did about £7-800 in the end but just bad variance not bad or stupid play.

Broken Record

Same stuff although i can honestly say i was more relaxed tonight and the rage didnt set in. Close to big stuff including busting betfair $20k 16th/350 odd players and others which i wont mention. Hopefully i can take the relaxed feeling forward and chill out a bit more at the tables and away from poker. Tommorrow its drinkies and probably no poker and i doubt i expect too much saturday either. Maybe try not to get drunk twice and live on takeaway this weekend but i make no promises to myself.