Early November Syndrome

Extracts from blog one year ago:

Tuesday, November 07, 2006:
Lazy & Lack Of Motivation To Play Times
I suppose i should have expected it, ive gone into one of my "i cant be assed to play" moods. It will be interesting to see how long it lasts but at the moment i just have little desire so my play will be limited to any value games that i do actually fancy.

Friday, November 10, 2006:
Anything But Poker ?
Following on from the last post ive still hardly played this week. I reckon maybe about 5 hours in total in the last 5 days. I will be playing more next week as i have some value games targeted. Only 2 weeks from St Kitts so its more important i play a few more multis i guess, and i will do this as long as im in a patient mood.


I often look back at profits or blog posts weeks or months ago for motivation or to see how my mood changes but the 2 above extracts only begin to describe how i feel about poker one year later.

I can remember writing those posts and i know i was lazy and arrogant at the time with the "ive won enough for the month so dont need to play" attitude. I never really saw that as a huge problem as ive never been a flat out poker player as a lot of people are and ive always been fairly lazy too.

Currently, however im really not sure whats going on in relation to poker. My lack of enjoyment for the game is probably at an all time low and as a result ive played maybe 60-70mins in the last 3 days in total. This is very unusual for me at the start of a month (without a win) when im not busy away from poker. I just really cant motivate myself to do something that feels too much of a chore at the moment. Luckily for me i have a great holiday planned in 12 days and coupled with some live poker im hoping this will be just the medicine i need. Fortunately im happy with my yearly profit to date but then again this could be part of the lack of motivation to play with no real targets to look at for a couple of months. Whilst this could be true it still doesnt explain why i really cant relax and enjoy most of the games i do play and give them the respect they deserve. Example below sums it up at the moment:

I played some sit & gos earlier for the first time in weeks, figured mtts and cash aint working so worth a shot. 4 x $59 sixpacs at the same time and after 2 ridiculous beats in 2 of them i win 1 and come 2nd in the other.

Results: +$4+$10 rakeback = £7 profit for under an hours play. Nothing to go nuts about but it aint a loss. Thing is i only look at the bigger picture, im livid about the 2 bad beat busts as both were against plays that were as bad as it gets and im pretty unhappy to lose a HU against a simple tight abc player that simply hit more flops at the end of the day.

My attitude stinks at the moment and i really focus on the negative side way way too much. I want to win every game i play which i know is as unrealistic as it gets but still im angry almost every time i lose. It good to be confident and have high expectations but this win only attitude seems to now be the root cause of me losing respect and enjoyment for the rest of the game.

Solution, who knows ? thankfully that holiday is closer. If im to survive and enjoy this game for years to come i need to work on my attitude and get to grips with what i really want to play and what i really want to achieve.