Empty

Thats how i feel, not mad just empty. Played 2 satellites tonight and nothing else, donked off the first one in ridiculous impatient style but this only made me more motivated to play the next one. 29 runners and top 2 go through to $1700 final stage of monte carlo EPT, 3rd gets $1500 cash.

After losing half my stack early with aces (could easily have been the lot) i doubled up AA vs KK and never looked back. This was the only preflop allin where i was covered the whole game and i cruised to the final 4 because the standard was freeroll (basically everyone in it had subbed for $6-$15). Made some good resteals but unfortunately when i did become chipleader i got overraised by the big stacks when all i was doing was attacking the short stack. After some frustrating play watching these muppets double each other up or blind out eventually the blinds caught up and when i pushed with 10s i ran into the shortest stack (which actually now had 10k of my 14k) who had AA. Blinds were 500,1000 and i had already made some big folds JJ,77 and AQ prior to avoid any face off but the sick fact remains i went out with J10std vs K8off straight after and im left scratching my head again, feeling a bit let down by my luck or maybe my short handed play, who knows.

At least this has happened at the end of a month so i can restart in a couple of days time fresh for march, at this point i dont feel like playing much at all for the rest of february. My patience has been testing a lot lately and its failed if im honest. I have 100$k freeroll tommorrow, ill clear the tiny bit left of a raked hands bonus and thats it for me other than maybe some farewell cash games on the tribeca site and possibly the 100$k on mansion as long im up for it.

I know baring any stupidity i should still finish over £3000 up for the month which is fine but im just concerned that my lack of patience is again beginning to lead to that lack of enjoyment when im playing. I dont want to only enjoy the game when im winning but thats whats it feels like at this time.